Some results hit harder than others. It’s not just about marks or a number on a screen. Sometimes it feels like a verdict on your effort. Or worse, your potential.
This edition’s a personal one. I got a backlog. And honestly, it messed with my head more than my schedule.
Let’s talk about that.
📍Why Backlogs Feel Like a Personal Failure
People say, “It’s just one subject,” but it never feels that simple.
It feels like:
A punch to the little momentum you were building
A confirmation of that one fear: maybe I’m not cut out for this
A guilt loop you can’t escape, because you “could’ve done better”
And the thing is, when you're a student who cares, failing doesn’t feel passive. It feels personal.
🔁 Burnout + Shame = A Cycle
Burnout isn’t just exhaustion. It’s trying again and again while carrying the weight of the last failure.
When you’ve got a backlog or a dip in grades:
You feel behind even when you're trying
You doubt every new routine before it begins
You compare yourself to the classmates who "always seem fine"
Burnout doesn’t always look like doing nothing. Sometimes it looks like doing everything... but from a place of panic.
🔨 So What Do You Do When You’re Tired But Still Trying?
You rebuild. Gradually. You stop pursuing the glamour of a comeback and simply... focus on the next small step.
For me:
Writing this newsletter became evidence that I am still showing up.
Scheduling future posts became a strange little anchor.
Planning an app I haven’t even fully grasped turned into hopeful brainstorming.
You begin to see effort as maintenance, not punishment.
🧷 You’re Allowed to Be a Work in Progress
Backlogs don’t erase the days you showed up. They don’t cancel out your late nights, your side projects, your therapy wins, or your soft resets.
They’re not the end of your story, just a painfully timed chapter.
So if you're in a similar place: Trying to build while burned out, healing while hustling, dreaming while doubting—
You’re not failing. You’re just still in it.
And that counts for something.