I don’t think I avoid DSA because I can’t do it.
That would actually be easier to deal with. If something is genuinely out of reach, you either accept it or work toward it.
This is different.
I can understand it. I’ve had moments where things click, where a problem makes sense, where I can see the logic clearly. And that’s exactly what makes this worse.
Because then the question isn’t “can I do it?”
It’s “why am I not doing it?”
Avoiding DSA doesn’t look dramatic.
It’s not like I actively decide to not study it. It’s more subtle than that. I’ll open it, look at a problem, maybe even think about it for a bit… and then switch. To something easier. Something familiar. Something that gives a quicker sense of progress.
And just like that, the day moves on.
Part of it is friction.
DSA doesn’t give instant feedback. You don’t feel productive immediately. You sit with a problem for a while before anything starts making sense. And that “while” feels uncomfortable.
So I avoid that discomfort.
But I think a bigger part of it is something else.
DSA is measurable.
You either solve the problem or you don’t.
There’s no way to hide behind “I kind of understand it.” There’s no partial illusion of progress. It shows you exactly where you stand.
And sometimes, I don’t want to see that.
It’s easier to stay in areas where I already feel competent.
Where I can move fast, build things, feel like I’m doing something meaningful. DSA slows me down. Forces me to think differently. Forces me to sit with confusion longer than I’d like.
So I delay it.
And the delay creates a loop.
The longer I avoid it, the heavier it feels to come back. It starts looking bigger than it actually is. More complicated, more intimidating.
When in reality, it’s just… practice.
I think I kept waiting for a version of me that suddenly becomes consistent with it.
Someone who sits down daily, solves problems, tracks progress, and improves steadily.
But that version doesn’t appear on its own.
If anything, I’ve just been getting better at avoiding it.
There’s no big realization here.
Just this:
Avoiding it hasn’t made it easier.
